Team Building
Manage Expectations to Reduce Everyday Frustrations
Just today my partner Russ and I sat down to hash out a nagging frustration. It took a little bantering back and forth [not without some rise in emotional tension I'll have you know] until we got at the heart of the issue.
So, most every time you find your level of frustration on the rise it is because your partner acted contrary to one of your myriad expectations. Now that you've become more or re-aware of this what can you do about it?besides hoot and holler? The first step is to identify what the expectation is For example: My husband expects that we arrive at least 15 minutes early for meetings where we are the speakers, as he likes to greet attendees and take our position behind the podium in a timely manner. When for some reason I get caught talking with someone outside he gets perturbed.
Where do our expectations come from? Our expectations generally are spawned during our childhood years. I recall when our daughter was about five years old and she came home from visiting our neighbors rather concerned and said, "Jason's mommy and daddy are mad and his daddy went away. Mommies and daddies must stay together." Her expectation was [and still is now that she is 26 and married] that couples work it out. Take a moment to reflect on some of your expectations; you might just chuckle about where some of them come from. Like the one about the ham? Mother is teaching her daughter how to cook ham for a holiday dinner. "Mom, why do you cut off the ends of the ham before putting it in the casserole?" Mother stops to think for a moment then says, "Because that's how grandma did it." Fortunately Grandma is visiting and is sitting in the front room reading to her five year old grandson. "Grandma, why do you cut the ends off the ham?" Grandma smiles and says, "Why child, because when your mother was young the pan was too small." Choose your battles Depending on the expectation you may want to concede so that in another area your partner will agree to your preference. Determine which expectations are most important to you and which are most important to your partner. Be prepared for some give and take. Find a better way. When expectations are in conflict, it is frequently best to sit back and look at what is best for the situation or the relationship. Who takes out the trash may vary according to work schedule and availability. When to take out the trash may be determined by sanitary concerns. When individual expectations clash the fastest way to resolve the concern is to create a totally new expectation that fits you and your life or business partner best. If you are a workaholic working 16 hours a day and your partner puts in 8hours you need to look at what your business demands and set your expectations to line up with your business plan and goals. In a partnership, life or business, remember that your expectations may need to be realigned so that they work for the good of the relationship. Margrit is a former Team Relationship Consultant for First Union Securities [now Wachovia], Morgan Stanley, and many small business owners and professionals. She was a marriage and family therapist for several years as well. Today Margrit offers free relationship advice on-line, writes articles for Horsesmouth [an on-line service for financial advisors] and makes money selling her Relationship Tests [called Awareness Tools]. Soon her Relationship Principles e-books [for Life and Business Partners] and other stuff to make bad relationships good and good relationships great will also be available at http://www.stratateam.com/WhyitWorks.asp
MORE RESOURCES: Return to Team Building Home Page |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Feedback For Learning Can Turn Your Team Into Winners Feedback:Most experts agree both types; constructive and positive feedback are beneficial and important to performance improvement. However, the way the feedback and timing of it are crucially factors. 3 Steps To Successfully Build A Team In Any Program Any x by y matrix plan has one big risk.. Workplace Fitness: Tongue-In-Cheek According to the Oxford Dictionary of Current English, to speak with one's tongue in one's cheek is to speak insincerely or ironically. This phrase dates back to 1748 when it was cool to show disdain or disrespect for someone by putting your tongue inside your cheek to make it stick out. Building Successful Work Relationships--Playing In The Same Sandbox Remember playing in your childhood sandbox? If you enjoyed being outside for most of the day, you could play in the sandbox for hours on end-shaping and pouring the sand or mixing it with a little water to form a castle or hill. Children enjoy playing with sand or dirt and learn at an early age how to make the most of this play time activity. Proactive High Performance Teamwork Proactive High Performance Teamwork is made up of nine proactive components and will provide the growth you are seeking in your practice. Two of the nine components are Performance and Opportunities. How to Turn Idea Squashers into Possibilities Managing a small business continues to become more challenging. However, history has shown that resourceful business owners will succeed. How to Boost Morale In Your Organisation Who keeps the wheels turning in your organisation? Who holds it all together when chaos reigns supreme? Who can you rely on to run your department/business in your absence?Generally it's the admin/secretarial/support staff who toil away at their computers day after day, week after week and maybe year after year.Tell me?when's the last time you thanked or rewarded them for their efforts? I'm sure you did what everyone else does at Xmas - take them out to lunch or dinner. Winning Teams on the Football Field and in the Office Teams, teams, teams. They're all the rage these days. Solitude Vs Teamwork! Irrespective of any given situation, "Team Work Works!" It is not that students are incapable of studying in solitude, it is just that when they study in collaboration the synergy drives the students, one step further. During the learning period people tend to be skeptical and filled with fraught of underachieving, so they stick with the habit of solitary learning. Raising Issues In Your Group or Offline In a recent group coaching session, a client mentioned that he thought his monthly meetings with his peers were dysfunctional. He felt they achieved "false closure" on key decisions - they'd discuss an issue, not make a clear decision, and move on, all acting as if they were clear. 12 Tips and Reminders for Team Members To Enjoy Their Team Experiences More 12 Tips and Reminders for Team Members To Enjoy Their Team Experiences More Warning: The ideas that follow work. Don't be fooled by their simplicity. Franchisor Award Programs; Ideas and Innovation Franchisors should also be heavy on the award side of motivational material. Award certificates and plaques should be given out to franchisees who perform above expectations. Team Work - A Challenge of Character Over the years there has been much ado about team work, the value of teams, the ups and downs, the pros the cons! Some appear to work and others fail, why? Can your business benefit from a team work approach or not?As people we are 'complex beings' It never ceases to amaze me how we often gravitate to negative ways of thinking about others when we ourselves (if we are honest) have just as many flaws and faults. We often find ourselves thinking about the glass half empty instead of the glass half full. Do You Want to Get Others to Improve Their Performance? Then Expect the Best Recently I decided to stretch my athletic abilities and add a running program to my regular exercise routine. Although I had tried to run in the past, my level of success was pretty pathetic. Feedback - How to Make it Effective Let's look at the detail of giving feedback. Whether youwant to reinforce behaviour - Confirming feedback or changeunacceptable behaviour - Productive feedback, there arecertain steps you need to follow to make it work. You are Excused from Training Trainers, please picture this.. Story Telling With a Purpose For a brief time, I tried to sell life insurance. And, the operative word was 'tried' I can assure you. Team Member Feedback: A Priceless Communication Tool Feedback is such an important communication tool. Openness, honesty, candor, trust -- all of these are hallmarks of high performance teams and organizations. Team Building Celebration Plan -- Perfect For Any Time of Year When was your last team celebration? Have you been way too busy to bother? Sometimes we get so caught up in day-to-day work that we don't take the time to step back and celebrate success. Some teams may even consider team celebrations as "silly. Effective Team Building Part 1 - Another Brick in the Wall! The first in a series of articles giving a slightly different viewpoint on effective team building, condensed from an original seminar presented by the author, John Roberts. John is a Freelance Training Consultant and director of JayrConsulting Ltd.
|
|
|
| © Career Consulting Limited.com 2015
|